Rating: K
Warnings: Boy's love. Also, I get the distinct feeling that I plagiarized this from somewhere...
Summary: There is only so much the heart can take.
Disclaimed.
It starts with a dream--a dream and a determination to achieve that dream.
---
"I want to go to the countryside," Jonghyun says, so Jinki lets him.
"I want to go around the entire country," Jonghyun says, so Jinki lets him.
"I want to go around the entire world," Jonghyun says. So Jinki lets him.
It hurts a little more each time, a small chip to his heart, to himself. But this is his dream. This is what he always wanted, and I don't want our relationship to be a burden.
I don't want to be a burden.
I don't want him to abandon me.
---
"Are you leaving again?" Are you leaving me again?
"Yeah. I'll be back in three weeks." I'm sorry.
---
He says he wants to fly, so Jinki lets him. And Jonghyun is contented with the knowledge that he will wait.
But what if Jinki grows tired of waiting? What if he wants to give up? What Jonghyun doesn't know is that beneath Jinki's acceptance lies a gnawing exhaustion. He thinks this has been going on for far too long. His rationality tells him that this relationship has been nothing but give, give, give, and his resources have run out. His heart has been cracked beyond repair, his pride discarded, and now he's looking back at the path he's taken and he wants everything again. Maybe it's time to be selfish.
---
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"I really, really love you."
"Me too."
Jonghyun falls asleep with a smile on his face and has pleasant dreams. At the airport, Jinki smiles and waves at him (he has that smile that reaches his eyes and turns them into tiny crescents, the kind of smile Jonghyun absolutely adores). They kiss and hug and bid their goodbyes, and as Jonghyun boards the plane, he absentmindedly thinks of buying Jinki the moon.
There is a tremble in his veins. Jonghyun thinks it's a sign of something good.
---
Three weeks later, Jonghyun calls Jinki, a wide grin on his face and his heart on his sleeve. Jinki doesn't pick up, but Jonghyun tells himself that that's okay, he was planning to surprise him anyway.
Five hours later, he arrives at their apartment and knocks. Jinki doesn't answer so Jonghyun lets himself in with the spare key hidden underneath the mat, pushing nervous thoughts to the back of his mind as he pushes the key in and strides over the threshold.
Five minutes later, Jonghyun walks into an empty room. Everything is in place, everything is in order, but it feels disjointed and wrong. There is an obvious Jinki-shaped gap in the air.
Five seconds later, Jonghyun's world falls to dust.
Author's Note: Bleh. I don't like how this turned out but oh well :|
